counterpoint >>> sari carmente

Am I a Bad American?
or just a Pathetic Patriotic Feminist

Some may say I sound like the Motor City Mad Man. Some say that the Terrible Ted did not write the Bad American speach. Regardless of have written it, I agree with most of the points writen in it. Here are my view on the matter.

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I must be a BAD American. I like big trucks. I believe all the money I make belongs to me. I certainly do not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over want to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies like Congress does.

China approaches one of our planes flying over International waters with fighter jets, crashes into it forcing us into an emergency landing, seizes our plane and holds our crewmen captive and then demands an apology......here’s your apology China.....F. U.! Are we that fucked in this country to believe otherwise.

I’m not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way. I think owning a gun does not make you a killer. Using it to kill someone is. I believe it’s called the Boy Scouts of America for a reason. If girls want to join, too freaking bad. There is the Girls Scouts of America. By the way, the cookies are great.

Japan uses a sneak attack on us during World War II and wreaks havoc on Pearl Harbor which forces the US into the war. Then we recently apologized to Japan for dropping the bomb on Hiroshima which helped to end the war. Here’s an amendment to that apology... F. U. TOO! C-mon people!

I don’t think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. I don’t celebrate Kwanzaa. I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you’d better punch it in with real nails. I don’t use the excuse “it’s for the children” as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions. I think Oprah is a "big fat pig". I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesn’t give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven’t begun to be enlightened. I do have a degree and do know more than you, but it's not because of it.

I don’t want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package. I don't eat just a salad for a meal. I am not a bird. First comes the salad and then the steak. Beef does not make you fat, sitting all day in front of the tube does. By the way, I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.

Hillary Clinton has a bad case of penis-envy. Hell, she wants to be a man. She has taken the women cause 20 years backwards. My heroes are John Wayne, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. I don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor. I pitty the fool!

I know professional wrestling is fake and I don’t waste my time arguing about it. It is entertainment to some and really a male soap opera after all.

I think global warming is a big fat lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?

I’ve never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn’t wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven’t burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut-the-fuck-up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Rev. Jessie Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money. Why is he always part of the problem and not the solution.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you’re running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. So return my TV, you bastard.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years. I worry about dying before I get even.

I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.

I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again. I enjoy watching high speed pursuits - the more damage the better.

I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents. A man and a woman. None of this crap of same sex marriages.

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don’t pretend they are a political statement. The statement you are making with them is that at some point in your life, they seemed to be a cool thing to have, like a mistress or a John.

I think Dr. Seuss was a genius. I’m neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

I believe if she has her lips on your dick, it is sex, and it is sex for the both of you. This even applies when she is a fat pig with self-esteem issues, and you are President of the United States.

If that makes me a Bad American, then yes, I’m a Bad American. You will get NO apology from me for it. If you too are a Bad American please forward my gospel to everyone you know. We need our Country back.

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