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As many as you know, the year 2001 have started and this year in particular has the makings of being just that, a particular year. "1999", had a song by a former, formerly artist known as Prince. For those of you who may recall, 2001 had a movie. Oh yes; the classic 1968 sci-fi movie about how life it would be in the year 2001.

Well, the year is here, and by the looks of things, they are not really how the movie portrayed them, or are they? I don't think Hal could have predicted the year we are about to have.

I am going to go out on limb, since Stanley Kubrick is dead and predict certain things that will happen in the year 2001.

World hunger will not end this year as it won't end the Subway's campaign featuring the now famous fat loser, Jared.

Rumors will keep circulating about a Van Halen reunion with their original mouth David Lee Roth.

Bill Clinton will select a staff to get him elected to the newly office of "first gent". 2004 will be the year of his big push.

Monica Lewinski will head down once again into another scandal. This time will be with Cuban dictator for life Fidel Castro. Something about the purity of a cigar will be issue in mouth.

The Baltimore Ravens will win Superbowl XXXV in Tampa by the score of 31-7. Ray Lewis will arrested for the murder of rapper Eminem in an after the game party at Ybor City. The Mars Candy Corporation will litigate this tragedy to the sweet sounds of the "Candy Man". Ravens "motor-home", Tony 'The Goose" Siragusa will then eat teammate Lewis to erase any evidence.

In February, the NBA's Orlando magic and the XFL's Orlando Rage will go undefeated for the whole month.

In March, Retalin will be the drug of choice at both rave parties and class rooms by white kids, while crack will remain as the minorities choice.

The British band Oasis will break up once again, only to be reunited in May to tour as the opening act for U2 on their world tour.

Bill Gates buys Antarctic. He then moves his Microsoft headquarters there. Changes Windows logo for a "penguin". hummm....Micro-Lynux?

In April, Bill Clinton will have sex with Senator Hillary Rotham.

In May a horse named W. will win the Kentucky Derby by just a "chad".

Ricky Martin shakes his "bom bom" for one last time after Jennifer Lopez or J.Lo buys the rights of anything to do with ones "butt".

The Friends Wedding is finally here but it is not Monica and Chandler the ones with a surprise.

In June, sharks will attack tourists on the beaches near the Florida panhandle. This will coincide with the 25th anniversary of Jaws, the movie.

The Lakers will win yet again another NBA title when they beat the beat the New York Knicks. The Lakers Championship will be dedicated to the then sidelined Shaquille O'neal who will be nursing an injury given by the Knicks Marcus Camby.

The Pittsburgh Penguins will win the Stanley Cup. Both Wayne Gretzky and Michael Jordan announced their UN-retirement.

In July, the Nation's Capital will have yet another sex scandal.

Another planet will be discovered. Apes would rule this one.

alt.binaries.boobs.amateurs.nudes.blondes will be the newsgroups of choice in the new year.

In August, the Food and Drug Administration will approve a drug that will make people loose weight and gain hair. Both Subway and Rogain take the case to the Supreme Court.

Actor Robert Downey jr. will be kicked out of Alley McBeal and replaced by Vanilla Ice.

A team from Japan will win the Little League World Series. The New York Yankees will buy then the team.

In September, the Rolling Stones will embark on yet another rehab world tour.

Janet Reno signs an endorsement deal with 7up and replaces the 7up yours guy. Bill Clinton scores a similar deal with Hooters. "Talk about more than a mouthful".

Napster will undergo download mayhem when Metallica will encode a virus on their upcoming CD that would make computers crash when other music other than theirs plays.

News will leak about the death a pregnant Princess Diana and a coverup.

In October, Halloween will be celebrated on a Wednesday.

The stock market will crash hard.

Michael and Janet Jackson will unite to become just one Jackson, Action Jackson.

Ricardo Montalban will be the host of Temptation Island 2.

The St. Louis Cardinals will beat the New York Yankees in game 7 of the Fall Classic. Mark McGuire will homer in the winning run.

In November, the State of Florida will be given back to their original owners; the Cubans.

Al Gore still believes he has a chance to win the 2000 Election.

Elvis will be found dead in his tomb.

In December, Chelsie Clinton will join Pearl Jam at Madison Square Garden to dedicate the song "Daughter" to her parents.

And finally, on the last day of 2001, the Florida State Seminoles will be ranked 4th and playing for the National Title a few days later.

So enjoy the year. Oh yeah, I promise to get serious next month.

Send your comments to Lando!