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The worst year in recent history just died a few days ago. My goodness, if only I would have known half of it, I wouldn't had believe it. 2001 was a year that we will love to forget but probably wont for a long time.

Stanley Kubrick was as wrong as Orwell was in 1984. Hal did appear in 2001 in an Apple Computer ad during the Superbowl and then disappear into infinity.

This year will be on high alert all 365 days. Our president will have a tough road ahead, not only internationally, but at home as well in an election year. I really would like to wish him and everyone protecting us inland and abroad the best of luck.

Once again I will go on limb, and predict certain events and things that will happen in the year 2002. My predictions may or may not come true, but read on anyways.

Larry King and Wulf Blitzer will join Paula Zahn to the list of Sexy journalists on the cable network. Aaron Brown did not made the list.

Jared, Subway's poster child will gain 50 ponds when he decided to buy the Wendy's Restaurants chain.

More Anthrax is found at a postal facility in New Jersey. Oh wait, is the same damn sample as the last time.

The St. Louis Rams will win Superbowl XXXVI in New Orleans by the score of 42-21 over the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers lost the game despite continuos play of "Who let the dogs out" over the pa system at the Superdome. That was a twist of fate!

In February, Bikeweek will be celebrated under protest due to the anti-flashing laws preventing overweight men show themselves in public.

Orlando Magic owner Rich DeVos will announce that they have sold the team to a secret cult. This particular group of investors sell their over price products door to door all over the world in Pink Caddy's. The Magic will change their name to the Orlando Mary Kays.

The Winter Olympics will be seen as an spectator sport in Salt Lake. NBC looses their shirt and get a cold.

U2 will have A Beautiful Day with 4 Grammys.

In March, Spring Training Baseball will start in Florida and Arizona. The Atlanta Braves will loose every game not started by a left handed pitcher. They trade all right handers away.

Cuba will send former Taliban soldiers on boats back to the United States. This will mark the 22nd Anniversary of the Marielitos.

A Beautiful Mind will sweep at Oscar night.

In April, Bill Clinton will have sex with Senator Hillary Rotham. He later denied the act by stating: "I did not had sex with that women".

It rained some. Mostly April Showers.

Bill Gates tries to buythe state of Washington. Pearl Jam moves out to a "State of Love and Trust".

Anthrax will be found in Senator Tom Dashel's computer. There was contaminated emails in his Microsoft Outlook box.

In May, nudists will walk the streets of Los Angeles demanding justice over an anti-nude ban. As many as 30,000 will be arrested. That's 60,000 naked cheeks.

The Class of 2002 will graduate and find less chance to get a job at Enron than ever before. The same goes for K-Mart.

The Friends finale reveals what we knew all along. Chandler and Joey are really gay. Monica is shocked. Phoebe is not. Ross still has no clue, about anything. Oh yeah, Rachel gives birth.

Star Wars, Episode II breaks all kinds of records. Guiness overwhelmed. Sir Alec still dead.

In June, alligators will attack tourists on the swamps near the Florida Everglades. This coincides with the Florida Gators opening camp without their former coach Steve Spurrier.

The Lakers will win yet again another NBA title when they beat the New Jersey Nets 4 games to 2.

In July, the Nation's Capital will have yet another sex scandal.

Chandra Leavy still missing. Condit working on reelection.

Another planet will be discovered. Apes would not rule this one.

www.boobs.com will be the most visited website this year.

In August, Mariah Carey will finally give up her acting career.

Actress Calista Flockhart disappears out of the set of Alley McBeal. The show continues without her. No one really notices.

A team from Afghanistan will win the Little League World Series. Bill O'Reilly cries foul.

In September, Angelina Jolie separates from husband Billy Bob Thorton. Common sense prevails.

Janet Reno quits the the state of Florida governor's race due to testosterone attacks.

After a year of the September 11 attacks, many families of the victims have yet to receive their money from the all the funds.

It's Fun n' Gun season in the nation's capital

In October, Halloween will be celebrated on a Thursday.

The Stock Market will crash hard. Psyched!!! Actually not really.

Regis will replace Kelly Ripa with Colombian hip-shaker Shakira.

The Yanks in 4. Giambi MVP. It doesn't matter who.

In November, the Tampa Bay Bucs will start winning games from this point on.

Al Gore still believes he has a chance to win the 2000 Election.

The Republicans will win both houses.

In December, Christmas Trees will be only sold to those who have bought them through TicketMaster outlets. There is a service charge as usual.

Microsoft will unveil the Y Box. Nobody knows why!

The band Anthrax changes its name to Polio.

And finally, on the last day of 2002, the BCS still full of it.

Enjoy the year. I promise to get serious next month.

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